When you’re in love with someone (or just have a bad crush on them) it’s no surprise you want them to return the feeling. But how to make a guy fall in love with you isn’t as simple as movies or romance novels might make it seem (and some things, you should DEFINITELY not try at home). That said, there are ways you can give him a gentle nudge towards falling for you.
While there’s no hard and fast rule for what makes a man fall in love, since everyone is different, here are some tried-and-true tips:
TIP #1: BE YOURSELF
At the end of the day, you want a guy who loves you for you, not a fake version of you. Don’t fall into the trap of molding yourself into the ideal partner because you think it will help you with finding the right person – you’re a whole person with your own wants, needs, desires and dreams, and the right guy will love you for you.
TIP #2: BE INTERESTED IN WHAT HE’S INTERESTED IN
Now, we’re not saying to gush over golf if you’d rather watch paint dry, or fake a deep love for Coldplay when you’d rather listen to Beyonce. But if you’re wondering how to make a guy fall in love with you, being interested in, and letting him share, the things he’s interested in is a sure-fire winner. And you never know, you might find a new hobby or interest of your own!
TIP #3: REALLY LISTEN
When he talks, give him your full attention – not just to the words he’s saying, but also his body language. Even if he says he’s fine, maybe he looks tired, or he’s hunched in on himself. Being aware of him – and being able to respond to things he may not even know he’s asking for – is a large part of how to make a guy fall in love with you.
TIP #4: SHOW HIM YOU TRUST HIM
Envy is only cute in fiction. In real life, there’s no quicker way to send a man running for the hills than not knowing how to deal with jealousy. It can be hard, but show your man you trust him. This doesn’t mean ignoring dating red flags, of course, but giving your guy the benefit of the doubt. If you’re worried about him being around other people, especially if you’ve been cheated on before, talk it out with him rather than trying to control his behavior – shows of trust like this are what makes a man fall in love.
TIP #5: SPEND TIME WITH HIM
Despite what the proverb says, familiarity doesn’t actually breed contempt – in fact, it’s a great way to find love. When you spend time with someone and get to know them better, it gives time and opportunity for emotional attraction to develop between you two. So, if you’re wondering how to make a guy fall in love with you, spending time with him in different settings – group outings, chilling out together, and of course, actual dates – is a key step.
TIP #6: … BUT NOT TOO MUCH
It’s good to spend time with your man, but not so much you resemble a barnacle – that’s the opposite of what makes a man fall in love, as it can give the impression you’re clingy and desperate. While playing hard to get isn’t advisable either, do make it a point to be independent and have your own life, and say ‘no’ sometimes – he can’t miss you if you’re always around, after all.
TIP #7: ASK FOR HIS HELP
It’s a truth universally acknowledged that guys like to be asked for help. Don’t constantly play the damsel in distress, but if there’s something you need help with that your guy can do – fixing a tire, helping you move furniture, even talking through a problem – don’t hesitate to ask. The warm glow he gets from being able to be of service to you is a good approach to strengthen any attachment that might be there.
TIP #8: ENJOY LAUGHTER TOGETHER
Don’t laugh if his jokes are really terrible, or worse, bigoted, but if he’s actually a funny guy? Don’t hide your amusement and be sure to praise him for it. “This is Eric, he’s hilarious,” is a wonderful compliment to give a guy. Don’t hesitate to try and make him laugh, too – the ability to laugh together (and not at each other) is a good way to distinguish between infatuation vs love.
TIP #9: LET HIM KNOW YOU’RE THINKING OF HIM
It’s always nice to know someone’s thinking of you, and guys are no exception. Make sure to occasionally text your man with a joke or a question about his day or even something that reminded you of him. Maybe you were in a completely different state when you saw someone wearing his favorite football team’s jersey, or maybe a song came up on Spotify that you know he’d love. If you’re wondering how to make a guy fall in love with you, small gestures like this one go a long way.