It’s probably the most common question women on the dating scene ask ourselves: is he interested in me? Everyone knows that iconic scene from Sherlock, where it takes the world’s only consulting detective mere seconds to glean everything about the murder victim. Unfortunately, how to tell if a guy is interested or just being friendly is a little harder, especially for those of us without his skills. But with the tips in this article on how to know if a guy is interested, you’ll be putting Sherlock to shame in no time.
SIGNS A GUY IS INTERESTED IN YOU… IN EVERYDAY LIFE
- He leans in close. A man’s body language is worth a thousand words. Does he lean in slightly towards you when he’s talking? Make eye contact? Look over at you even if he’s talking to someone else? Those are all pretty good signs a guy is interested in you.
- He’s interested in what you’re interested in. Even if he’d rather watch paint dry than discuss the relative merits of the Gerwig and Taylor Little Women adaptations, or watch a game rather than the Gilmore Girls reboot, for your sake, he’ll make the effort to at least listen.
- He notices when something changes. Done something new with your appearance – a haircut, a top in a particularly appealing cut or color? A compliment means he’s been paying attention, since he’d have to notice the change before he can compliment you on it.
- He finds reasons to be around you. Does he offer to help with your groceries, or invite you to hang out with him or his friends, or check to see if you’re also going to that party? The odds are good he’s angling for some eventual one-on-one time.
- He’s nervous around you. Does he fidget when he’s around you? Laugh nervously, or take deep breaths? Maybe he tends to ramble. That’s a good sign – guys don’t get nervous in situations where they feel like they have nothing to lose.
How to keep him interested: Push a little, but match his commitment level – before even the first date isn’t the time to go shopping for monogrammed towels. But make sure to compliment him, or suggest you guys do something together, either in a group or – if you’re the direct kind – one-on-one.
SIGNS A GUY IS INTERESTED IN YOU… ONLINE
- He sends the first message on the online dating site. This one’s pretty clear. There’s nothing like a guy who takes initiative. That said, it only counts if it’s reasonably well spelled, and clearly intended to start a conversation.
- He replies instantly. Now, obviously, you don’t want a guy who has nothing better to do than browse the Internet all day. But a guy replying instantly (or at least pretty darn quickly) is a pretty good indication that he seems interested.
- He sends you pictures… not THAT kind. Unfortunately, unsolicited pictures of a certain body part are all too common online. But if a guy is sending other kinds of pictures – casual ones of his day, his pets, funny memes – then that’s one of the biggest signs he likes you.
- He compliments you. This rule applies both online and off. Compliments – and not shady ones like ‘you’re not like other girls’ are a very common sign of male attraction. Bonus points if the compliments are about things that would take some effort to notice, or are something that you don’t normally get complimented on.
- He opens up to you. Guys are conditioned to not show weakness or vulnerability, so a guy telling you about himself, opening himself up to your judgement, is a huge sign of interest. You do want to be a little careful about this one – one way manipulators ensnare their victims is by telling stories carefully designed to evoke sympathy – so it’s best to make sure you can trust your date.
How to keep him interested: Keep the conversations going! Ask him about his day, suggest movies or books to watch/read and discuss later, and maybe even flirt a little online.
SIGNS A GUY IS INTERESTED IN YOU… AFTER THE FIRST DATE
- Both of you have the chance to talk. He doesn’t bulldoze the conversation, or sit silently by while you ramble, or let the silence stretch. Instead, there’s conversation, laughter and even some flirting.
- He – subtly or otherwise – tries to prolong the date. Ordering dessert, then coffee, or suggesting you both take a walk after dinner, or offering to show you something interesting in the neighbourhood you’re in… all signs he isn’t quite ready to be deprived of your company.
- He calls or texts soon after to tell you what a good time he had. Gentlemen don’t leave a lady hanging; if he didn’t let you know he had a good time, it’s time to say, ‘thank u, next’ and move on.
- He makes casual references to the future. ‘Oh, we should see that, it sounds interesting,’, ‘You know, this music festival is really fun, we should go together’ or even ‘Have you ever been whitewater rafting?’ all show he’s thinking about spending time with you in the future, too.
- He asks you for another date. This is one of the most obvious signs he’s interested in you after the first date. Guys are a pretty straightforward species, as a rule, and this is the clearest indication possible that yes, he really, really does like you.
How to keep him interested: Let him take the lead. Leave the ball in his court as to how, and when to get in touch after; it’ll appeal to his desire to woo you. Plus, pushing too hard might make him feel like he’s being pushed, and even scare him away.
